Weddings

Ive spent most of my last few weeks on the phone chasing up problems. But this week my time has been taken up by my new shiny S4 phone that I don't see how I lived without it. It's so fast and sleek, with more features than you can dream off and yet my only bugbear is the size. even if it was 2cm shorter and had 1cm off on the sides, it would make it a much easier phone to handle. However the size does have its benefits, such as watching trailers and not trying to touch very small letter when typing.

I am shortly going to be travelling up country to see my oldest friend walk down the aisle (this is where I can take advantage of my new phone and its 13mp camera with front and rear shots simultaneously) to her partner of 7 years. I also have another friend who is starting to plan her wedding.

It is almost 2 years since I got married to Nick and let me tell you that sometimes it seems as if it was only moments ago and other times it feels like it was centuries. So, with weddings on the brain, I thought I'd use this post to give some tips for anyone who is tying the knot in the near future

• Get a journal/planner/stack of papers - whatever you prefer, but have one place that you write it all down, one place that you keep all your ideas, keep all the numbers, all the pictures, it makes it easier when you have to make final decisions.
• Buy as you go - this is especially easy if your trying to plan a budget wedding - ebay is your friend - pick things up when you see them, don't leave any decorations until the last minute, you do not need the stress of finding one silver sash on the morning (yes, learn from mine - or rather my mother in laws mistakes).
• Set your colour - once you've chosen your colour stick to it, but try to stick to colours within the season you are getting married as it makes it easier to find items of your choice. I went with a dark purple in September and for a whole year I struggled to find many items in my chosen colour, however as soon as the wedding was over, there was purple everywhere - sods law that is!
• Double/triple/quadruple check - once you have confirmed things, always keep whatever communication was exchanged, and confirm everything 6 months before your day. Confirm again at around the 6 week mark and then re-confirm 1-2 weeks before. This will help you to relax as you KNOW it's done and you've given yourself some time to sort things out if there are issues.
• Table planning is not so hard - It really isn't. Like everyone I had the family members that do not speak to this person or the friend that will walk out if on the same table as that person. Don't let them get you down. With enough tables you can keep everyone happy. Oh, and that odd person table where you end up putting the odd couple that don't know anyone else but you, yeah, well they end up being the table having the most fun. I swear, it's happened in every wedding I've been to and at my own, the 'odds' get on famously.
• Be sensible - I could not have stayed in heels all day, its just not possible, so I got a pair of flats for the evening party. once the lights went down, no one was looking at me feet anymore (not that they really were anyway). Don't get me wrong I love shoes and would have if I could have, but being practical and comfortable (well as much as you can in wedding dress) is better than any accidents, or remembering your big day as a blur of pain.
• Happy drink - As much as the majority of people like to have one to many at a wedding, if its your day I say only have a few. I think I had 2 alcoholic drinks the whole day, but my memory is clear for so many little details and conversation. My husband on the other had (aided by my one Irish Uncle and my other Uncle who was in the Navy) got plied with drinks and felt the need to drink each one in record time. He now remembers very little of the evening party and the day after is a hangover blur!
• Dress is for you - with more choices of dresses out there than stars it seems an almost impossible task to choose what you want sometimes. Keep looking, but don't get too worried if nothing is perfect. you can always ask to add or remove details or just keep you eye out. you have to wear it all day and be photographed more in one day than the rest of you life combined, its important that you take the time to be comfortable with your choice.
• Food for all - If your not lucky enough to have a brother-in-law who is a chef and does your food as a wedding gift, then you will unfortunately have to pay for your meal or for a buffet, look around and see if you can bring anything yourself. One of the things that shocked me when looking at venues was finger food like cheese and pineapple stick and 4x sandwiches were coming up at £20 per head, stupid price when I can buy the stuff from Tesco and do it all for under £100 for about 90 people. But regardless of me, it's up to you, if you want a 5 course dinner supreme then look to see who will accommodate you. some places will offer slightly cheaper rates for more guests. It pays to look.
•  Ask for help - I constantly had my family and friends on the look out for purple centre pieces or accessories to add to the day, there's no need to struggle with it all on your own. If nothing else your future husband should put his two pence in at some point - well we have to let them think they have some control!
• DJ preview - If you are having a Disco, try and see what the DJ is like beforehand, request the songs that you want a month before, don't get stuck with a dud. Mine wasn't bad, but as a family friend I had a discount so I chose him for his cheapness. Don't get stuck with someone who plays puppy love or the birdie song!
• Keep Calm - At the end of the day as long as you have planned and confirmed everything, it will all be fine. The day before the wedding i was running round like a bridezilla crazy person making sure it was all done, but on the day I sat back and told everyone else that if there were any problems they would have to deal with it as it's now my time to shine.

Nothing that is unexpected but I hope these little tips help anyone who is getting married or is thinking of it.

Bare

Being comfortable in you own skin is something that is not always as simple as it sounds. Insecurities about a certain aspect, spots/blemishes or perhaps a scar that is the bane of you life, all make us unhappy about our looks. I have plenty of things that I would love to change, my nose is too round, my cheeks are too flat and my eyelashes are actually 5x longer than they look, its just the tips are clear and I need mascara to show them. I also have two scars on my face one under my eyebrow and one on my upper lip.

All of my dislikes can easily be hidden by make up, by contouring and concealing. I can't say I have bad skin or lots of spots, like a lot of people I do have some breakouts and when I get a bad spot it really can be the little zit that wouldn't go away. Finding things that you don't like or would change about yourself is a lot easier than finding things you like. I believe that we are all far too negative and being complimentary or positive is more difficult as 90% of what we see/read is negative and harsh.

Technically, even if you choose 5 things you like about yourself your letting up that there are negatives, your just not saying them, but it's a habit we should try and get out of. If I have to choose 5 things I like about my face these are them:

1. My Eyebrows are pretty natural and take very little upkeep or plucking
2. My skin is pretty clear and soft
3. My lips are big and a nice shape
4. My eyes (thought you can't really tell the colour) are very pretty and different depending on the light
5. My chin is small and well proportioned 

I am far from a beautiful and natural beauty and I'm not vain, but I have my good points and bad points like everyone. Finding 5 things was hard but I feel better for taking a long hard look at myself and picking out the good instead of the bad. It's not about changing how you feel overnight, it's about accepting that there are some parts of us that are unlikely to change and though we can cover them up, they are always under the surface and that won't change.

Posting pictures that are bare, that show the real you is never easy, I was scared to show myself without even the basics. I can go to work without make up, but I can not have a picture taken without me looking my best. My personal fears and niggles are my own making, and only I can help myself to change.

So... I ask anyone who reads this to pick up the courage and show that we are all beautiful, that we all have amazing features, that insecurities will not get the better of us, that negativity can be diffused and that we are strong and proud to be who we are, that flaws will not become us!

Hello, my name is Pain!

After being off work for 17 days and going back into one mad week, I can tell you that I'm not feeling great right now.

So I work in Tesco in one of the largest stores in the UK, I am a Team Leader on the Checkout and I deal with over 100 staff and thousands of customers in a week. Short of running around for both, I barely get a moment to sit down or take any stock. Our store which was expected to have calmed down now is taking on a mind of its own (fueled by the customers who visit it) and is increasingly getting more and more busy. I love my job and the challenges it brings, I do not however, love the impact it has on my body.

I am a large girl (that is not my jobs fault), I like my food. If anyone calls me fat I fully admit to being the only one in control of my body. I do however have a few health issues that may be exagerated by my weight but not created by it. A few weeks before Christmas I pulled my shoulder in work, Its still hurting and has even increased in pain. it has been almost 4 months since the initial cause and I now have cream that I have been rubbing in for a week with no difference made. My next possible move is an injection into the muscle that only has a 1 in 3 chance on improving it.

I have weak ankles, created from a injury when I was 13, my ankle could give way at any time or I may twist one at any time. This has led me to pull the ligament in my left ankle and twist it so hard it even dislocated. I have never broken either ankle and this is due to the high arch on my feet which makes it really hard for me to break them. This problem has not been helped by my weight, but once again its not the cause either and even if I was normal, I could still easily twist my ankle and when I was a normal size, I still did so frequently.

I fell on my knee onto solid concrete 10 years ago and it has never been right since, it frequently seizes up and causes me so much pain to unseize it that I end up crying. After a long day in work it hurts (and teamed with my ankle this is no picnic). I went to the doctors once and was told it was a genetic condition and was given some anti-inflamitory pills, which did nothing. It also took them 10 years to send me to physio for my ankles and with my shoulder now, I'm not really in any high hopes for a solution any time this decade.

My back is always in pain, even when I don't do anything, its all just varying degrees of pain. I suffer from asthma, which running around all day does not help, but it gets worse in the summer as the heat really gets to my breathing. I suffer from migraines which can lay me up for a day. Constant sleep issues to which I have now (after 15 year) been diagnosed with insomnia, but given nothing to help it. Due to the running around in my job I have developed plantar fasciitis, which is pain in the heel. I tend to have aches and pains, clicks and creaks in most of my joints and I probably have some form of arthritis, but I'm not expecting a diagnosis of any of my problems anytime soon.

So this is me, I live eveyday in pain, some days are easier than others and though I don't have any serious illness that is causing the pain, I wanted to let people out there know that no matter what has caused you pain, if you have any, you should not be afraid to say. I have friends with Fibromyalgia, lupus, early onset arthritis and many other difficulties. Their day to day life is 10times harder than me, but my pain is also 10times worse than others. Also don't be like me, I only go to my doctors when I can't take it any more, because they are inept and nothing ever gets done or I get fobbed off, don't wait or loose faith, your pain could be fixed with the right doctor!

How to Try and Beat a Cold!

It's that time of the year again and as the temperature has dropped the bugs seem to hang on for dear life and make you feel miserable.

For as long as I can remember I have been susceptible to cold and flu, where a normal person may have 2 or 3 illnesses a year I tend to get at least 7.

I was born with a hole in my heart due to a premature birth, I believe this has weekend my immune system a little bit, either that or my immune system is just crap at it's job, either way I get ill a lot.

When I am ill, whether it is cold or flu (preferable the first one) there are a few things I do without fail. I don't really know if they even work anymore as I have been doing them for so long.

1) Lots of fluids including orange juice or dissolvable vitamin c tablets, I tend to stay away from fizzy drinks and tea. However I have drunk a lot of Honey tea, just put some Honey into hot water as honey has a natural ingredient that kills off bacteria.
2) Tissues, lots and lots of tissues, my nose tend to work overtime on cold duty and I go through so much.
3) Vaseline, for if my nose does get sore its the least painful thing to use to sooth the area.
4) Vicks Vapo rub or Olbas Oil inhaler. for the chest these are really helpful, they may not be the nicest smelling things in the world and even if you don't think they are working they are usually doing lots of good and helping you.
5) Tablets, cold and Flu ones that help reduce temperature or just normal paracetamol, either way I can't get through a illness without a few, even if its just to ease the banging head that comes with any cold!
6) Wrap up, and use a hot water bottle at night. I tend to try and sweat the cold out , but as I cant deal with too much heat this doesn't really work too well, but it makes you feel cwtchy.
7) Try and get as much sleep as I can, I would sleep through the hole thing if my body would allow it!
8) Eat, even if I don't really want to, I will have 2 pieces of toast, just to keep my energies up and fuel the fight with the cold!
9) Hot baths. not only is the vapor from the bath good for clearing away your runny nose for a while it gives you a boost and relaxes your sore muscles.

There is a lot of advice out there to help you with your cold/flu but as everyone is different, what may work for me may not work for you, Trial and Error is the key